Are you following my March 30-Day Challenge?
If you are, then you know that today is the day you have to write five positive words about yourself. I’ve had a few emails about the challenge, which really excites me. I was a little bothered by a few messages. They said things like, “What if I can’t write five words? Are two okay?” and “Why five? That’s a lot.”
Did your heart skip a beat as well? Did it skip that beat because you felt the same or were saddened that some of your fellow challengers didn’t think they were worth five positive words?
At first glance, I thought picking five words would be easy. But, we live in a culture where self-depreciating behavior is almost expected. We apologize for everything, we talk ourselves down for the approval of others, and we are constantly bombarded by someone else telling us who we should be, look like, or emulate.
Coming up with five separate words that are not synonyms might prove to be a real challenge after all!
Here are my five words:
Why did I pick these five?
- Driven: I’ve always been a ‘hustler’. From the time I first started working, I took goals that my managers gave me and I had to be at the top. I had to beat everyone else. Unfortunately, this turned into an unhealthy obsession with being at the top, and therefore, thoughts of being a failure and unworthy if I didn’t land in the very top position. As time has passed, I’ve learned there’s a difference between drive, success, and perfection. I still hustle, I still push myself, and I am still a #GoalDigger, but I’ve learned to be humble and quiet in my search. Drive is quiet and drive gets hard work done.
- Creative: I love anything to do with creating beautiful things with my hands – whether that’s jewelry, sewing, writing, painting, or food. I was taught to sew when I was five and grew up with a mom who could put Martha Stewart to shame. We always did needlepoint projects and my room growing up was a mess of books and art supplies. The last five years, I’ve really struggled with my creativity. Living in India, we try to keep our house very minimal in case we leave. When you live internationally, anything can happen with your job at any time. I quit drawing, painting, etc. We don’t have a Michael’s or HobbyLobby, and instead of finding the small stores that carry each individual craft supply, I just quit exploring my inner creativity. I pushed myself last year to bring it back. I think this year’s book covers show that I’m back in full swing! I just love to create.
- Compassionate: Sometimes, I can be compassionate to a fault. But, being compassionate has taught me to see the world in a different way. I believe we need some sliver of compassion or we become too hardened to the world. Being compassionate can be very difficult when you’re also an entrepreneur and you have to be a stickler for contracts and rules, but finding that balance is something that makes a leader excel. I chose this word because I want entrepreneurs and upper level managers to possibly explore their balance and push themselves to still be a strong leader while embracing their tribe.
- Content: This is a word I wouldn’t have used for myself in the first 28 years of my life. I spent so much time chasing validation from people who didn’t deserve to even be near my validation. My lack of contentment also tied largely to not understanding the importance of controlling my drive – using my drive for myself, my goals, and to progress my life. It took a large disaster of mishandling a situation via e-mail, ripping myself apart, and then realizing I gave too many insignificant people control over my well-being to begin the path to healing, self-acceptance, and being content. This event was a turning point in my life and made me who I am today. I was a broken person with no self-worth, surrounded by people who took pride in knowing I was broken, people who mocked my brokenness, people who quite frankly, disgust me now when I look at what they represent. When I finally dropped these people and realized how toxic they were, not just for me but in their relationships with each other, I started to see what an amazing person I was. I fell in love with myself. I gained the strength to drop other toxic friendships that reflected the relationships with the original fall-out – you know the ones. You’re constantly trying to find one foothold and match up their expectations, prove their judgements wrong, and wondering why they carry such high standards for everyone except themselves. The people who never talk to you but still believe they know every ounce of your inner being and capabilities because they project their faults onto you. I decided to not live my life for anyone else, to not pass my power torch or even a shred of my light to anyone who might cast a shadow. Once I did this, a weight was lifted. This is a difficult, but powerful, step in one’s life. It’s even more challenging when the relationships you cut are “family”, but I have learned that family is what you create and who you choose to create it with. It should always be a positive, uplifting, and loving relationship. If it’s not, it’s okay to love yourself and let them go. At the end of the day, you matter the most. #ByeFelicia
- Adventurous: This one drives my husband crazy. I love a good rush – I am a textbook sensory seeker, from constantly having to touch different textures, push my boundaries, seek new experiences, do things like jump off bridges, go white water rafting on the Nile River, etc. He’s always telling me to step back from the side of a hill when we go hiking, or that we can’t go jump off cliffs in the jungle on one of our vacations. Sometimes my adventure is contained and just consists of going to a new country or trying a new food. I’m always wanting to try something new, explore my boundaries, push myself, etc. My comfort zone doesn’t really exist. This is probably the favorite part of my soul. As I get older, my adventurous side has slowed quite a bit. For example, after rafting the Nile in Jinja, Uganda, I aggravated some old car wreck injuries and decided I was probably done rafting Class V, borderline Class Death rapids. But, I would probably still get in a tube and raft down a lazy river. Just no more swimming in rivers that are stock full of crocodiles and where Jeremy Iron has fished for River Monsters.
Those are MY five words, and my #ThankfulThursday. I am thankful for myself, my journey, my current path, and the amazing, beautiful souls that fill my life with joy and light. Without their light, my five words may be slightly different. Without my journey to clean-up my relationships, I may have struggled to find five positive words myself.
I can’t wait to see YOUR five words. You can tag the movement on Instagram: #FeedYourHappy or @YourHappyIsHungry. You can also join our new Facebook Group to meet other challengers by clicking here.
You can tag me on any social media via @girlvscity.
Your happy is hungry, are you feeding it today?
Also published on Medium.